Jealous

Why am I so jealous that other's have the same opportunity as me? I got my chance to be an exchange student! It is my own fault that while I was there I messed it up. I now have to live with the regret the rest of my life, but I shouldn't begrudge others an amazing experience just because of my mistake. As I sit here and read their blogs, I long to be them! I wish I could be that mature and understanding, open and fun. Barely a day goes by I don't wish I could do it over and change everything, but instead I get to sit in my room and cry about the mistakes I made. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them, I just wish I could be like that. I wish I were different and that things were different for me!