Jealous

Why am I so jealous that other's have the same opportunity as me? I got my chance to be an exchange student! It is my own fault that while I was there I messed it up. I now have to live with the regret the rest of my life, but I shouldn't begrudge others an amazing experience just because of my mistake. As I sit here and read their blogs, I long to be them! I wish I could be that mature and understanding, open and fun. Barely a day goes by I don't wish I could do it over and change everything, but instead I get to sit in my room and cry about the mistakes I made. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them, I just wish I could be like that. I wish I were different and that things were different for me!

Crazy Life

So my life is crazy. It's December 30th, 2011 today. I'm home from school and I've been working at my parent's law firm but I took the day off. Today I slept in (accidentally) then got up and took the naughty dog for an hour long walk. My arm must be better attached than I thought, I feel it should have come off several times. No I'm chilling for a few minutes before I head downstairs to eat and then do the list of chores mom left for me (eye roll) before she gets home in 45-60 minutes. Till later

Tomorrow 09/03/11

Tomorrow I leave for university. I don't exactly know how to feel yet. I am super stressed from packing and getting ready. I'm nervous to leave the life I've lived for so long behind and set out on a new journey, a journey to discover myself. I don't know who I am or what I am setting out to do, but I know I will do my best do figure it out. As I look around me at the room I have spent so much time in I feel a sense of lose. I feel as if I am losing everything though I know I'm not losing anything but gaining so much more. My family and life here when I need them but for now I must try things on my own. So tomorrow I set out to see what I can do. I'm scared, excited, nervous, and happy. I feel a sense of lose as well as a sense of gain as I think about all I am about to get from this amazing experience. So watch out La Crosse, here I come!